Dedication
by WritingWithLibby
Summary: Jade is in a coma in the hospital after a car accident / Beck's POV / Rated T for angsty stuff


**Author's Note: Okay so it's late at night and I just finished this so if any grammar or spelling is off I apologize. Please, please, please review this because I worked really hard on it. Thanks! (Also, I cried a little while writing this, so if you cry, I apologize. I don't know if I'm affected by written stories more than others.) And to everyone who has reviewed on any of my other stories, thank y'all so much. Your reviews made me smile so much. -Libby (Also this story contains minor fluff, and I'm not very good at writing fluff sorry)**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own Victorious or any of the characters mentioned in this story.**

Pain.

A flash of pain, then all I can see is dark red, dripping from my hairline into my eyes.

 _Blood._

All I can think of is getting out.

I need to climb out, to stand up, and to tell people that I'm fine.

I can't feel my limbs, and my head is going dizzy.

 _help help help help help_

She's been in a coma for days.

Staring at her lifeless body was killing me.

Her chest faintly rising, with machines beeping.

I've asked the doctor's if I could play music for her, something, _anything,_ just to cover up the sounds of those damned machines.

They've said that they're sorry and that it's against protocol but they can't.

For God's sake, she's _dying._

They keep telling me that there's only a small chance of her waking up.

It would be less painful if I died right now.

But then, when Jade wakes up and proves every doctor wrong, I need to be here for her.

That's why I can't die.

Her pale face stares up at me, eyes still closed, expressionless.

 _Leaning against me, she laughed. Jade laughing was the greatest sound I have ever, ever heard. The sound warmed me even on the coldest day. She doesn't really laugh often, but when she does it's a gift as special as snow in the dead of summer._

 _She wraps her arms around me, then with a sudden yank we're rolling down the hill we were so gracefully sitting on seconds earlier. The world was a swirl of grass and Jade's smiling face. Moments like these I wish I could capture in a photograph and keep forever, constantly reliving the happiness she brings me._

 _Nights with Jade were mixed with feelings of passion and love and need and joy. Even nights where we just watched bad, old comedies then falling asleep with our bodies wrapped together, legs entangled under the linen sheets._

 _Waking up next to her, with her warm body still entwined with mine, was the picture of serenity. Her chest rising and falling with her sleeping breaths, hair encircling her face, looking like the softest black silk in the world. During the day, her face was kept expressionless due to her being a very private person, but at night her face became a rainbow of her feelings. Watching her sleep was more interesting than watching the best play in the world. No show or movie could ever attempt to compare to the way she looked while she was asleep._

I am hopelessly in love with Jade.

I was in love with her when I first saw her 4 years ago, but now I love her so much more.

I want to spend the rest of my life with her.

They didn't take her rings off. I appreciate that.

 _Seeing her face the first time after we broke up through the door was terrible. There was a second when I saw my Jade, the Jade I see when it's just me and her. For less than half a second, I saw a face full of vulnerability, but then, she was back. The regular Jade was back. That short time of my Jade was gone._

 _And I didn't know if I would ever get her back._

Everyone is telling me I need to go back to school but I can't.

How could I go back to school when the love of my life is dying in the bed right next to me?

I don't understand the doctors.

They tell me that she's dying and to say my goodbyes and now they're just doing what they can to make sure she isn't suffering too much.

 _She doesn't like to be cared for when she's sick, often going to school instead of staying home and taking care of herself._

 _She doesn't go to the doctor either. She doesn't believe that they help her._

 _Every once and awhile, when she's really sick, I take care of her._

 _Even when she's sick and throwing up, all I can think of is how beautiful she looks._

 _Or that maybe in a few years I'll be taking care of her when she is pregnant with our first child, but it's best not to dwell on things like that._

 _My father told me when I was younger that I would know when I was truly in love with someone. My father was not right about many things, but he was definitely right about that one._

Today they made the decision to take Jade off life support _._

She has 7 hours to live.

She is five days short of being 17.

They said that there is no chance that she will survive.

I can't cry.

I've gone far, far, far past the stage of crying.

Memories of Jade flash through my head.

Us sitting on the swings in middle school, talking about how excited we were for being high schoolers and what we want to be when we grow up.

Her calling me frantically at six in the morning right before the end of middle school telling me how she got into Hollywood Arts.

Lunchtimes with Cat and Andre and Robbie and Tori, even though she insisted that she hated the girl, I knew she secretly liked Victoria Vega.

As I watched her take her final breaths, I came close to crying.

But my first tear didn't drop until her heart monitor stopped.

Fitting, her final breath and my first tear.

Epilogue:

They kept Jade's locker the same, forever preserved with her scissors still impaled.

Hollywood Arts placed a plaque, simple and bronze, exactly the way Jade would like it, right on the front of the school. The plaque only said her name.

There were smaller plaques erected around the school in some of her favorite spots.

There was one placed in the janitor's closet, and another behind the school.

I wonder if future students will go to the same places to unwind as she did.

I struggle to go back to Hollywood Arts, and on the days I do, I ignore those places like they contain the devil. The memories of Jade are too strong in those places.

I did not attend her funeral. It would be a funeral mourning the girl her father wanted to be, not a funeral mourning Jade.

Her grave however, I visit often.

It's perfect for Jade, simply being engraved with only her name and the dates of her birth and her death.

I bring her coffee every day and explain what has happened during those uneventful days without her.

I moved on, I grew up.

The rest of our little group moved on as well.

They're all doing great with their lives, all of them are successful.

I know Jade is incredibly proud of them, wherever she is now watching over us.

Tori is an actor, starring in many successful movies.

Andre produces music and has produced many of the most popular sounds of the year.

Robbie is a comedian and has won many comedy awards.

Cat worked on Broadway, and is one of the best there is.

I became an author, a very popular one at best. I'm known for my sad stories, people praising how much emotion is put into my work. Writing is a way for me to channel my feelings and grief for her in a better way then drinking my future to dust.

One thing never changed though: every dedication in my life says the same thing, just the way it was in high school when we were dating.

"To J, forever the love of my life. Donec mors nos ex parte."

 **Author's Note: The Latin says "till death do us part" by the way (also, it was google translated because I don't speak Latin). Anyways, I wrote this really late at night and I'm really really really proud of it so please review. Also, it's my first over 1000 word fanfiction *throws mini celebration*.**


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